


The City's Budget Doesn't Work Like That

by JKL_FFF



Series: Smut Prompts [1]
Category: Steven Universe (Cartoon)
Genre: Beach City, Bill Dewey being dense, Comedy, Comedy of Errors, He would NEVER perpetrate such malfeasance, M/M, Office Blow Jobs, Office Sex, Sexual Roleplay, confused Bill Dewey, dramatic Jamie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-19
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-05 21:54:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25992487
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JKL_FFF/pseuds/JKL_FFF
Summary: I suppose this is an AU where everything's the same, except Bill Dewey and Jamie the Mailman somehow get together while Dewey's still the Mayor instead of at Ruby's and Sapphire's wedding (which we all know is canon at this point--they freakin' tangoed together during the wedding).Anyway, Dewey just wants to be a good Mayor, while Jamie just wants to be the heroine of an emotionally fraught, romantic melodrama (and to get dommed ... even if he has to dom himself).
Relationships: Bill Dewey/Jamie (Steven Universe)
Series: Smut Prompts [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1886761
Comments: 4
Kudos: 7





	The City's Budget Doesn't Work Like That

The downside of dating a Mayor who was _extremely dedicated_ to serving his town was that he tended to stay late at the Town Hall. Reviewing each municipal department’s operations and budgetary updates (and occasionally an allocation adjustment request), reviewing proposed legislation from the City¹ Council and submitting amendments to consider before he’d pass it, reviewing applications for permits or commissions against municipal and county and state and federal ordinances, reviewing DOGRA’s² latest report about the Crystal Gems and Steven’s recent activities (and the orders DOGRA² had issued him for his part in their presidentially mandated cover-up of extraterrestrial/magical lifeforms on earth on pain of being thrown into a supersecret prison for threats to national security), reviewing his planned involvement in local projects and programs (even if that usually only amounted to showing up to make a speech), filling out any paperwork that was needed for the above-mentioned duties and then filing it (since he saved the town some money by being his own secretary), etc.

Little wonder Bill Dewey often stayed late, with all the duties the Mayor of Beach City¹ had to shoulder. As he often quipped, “You can’t spell ‘Administrate This Town’ without M E!” Unfortunately, this often meant that his poor, beleaguered boyfriend had to just … sit there, consumed with lust, for a variable amount of the evening until he _finally_ decided he’d fulfilled his mayoral duties for one day. Only _then_ could they spend time together (so far, usually with takeout getting cold while they sloppily made-out during Netflix of some Shakespeare play).

However, one Tuesday, it occurred to Jamie “The Mailman” Themailman³ that the upside of dating a Mayor who was _extremely dedicated_ to serving his town was that he tended to stay _soo late_ that _everyone else who worked in the Town Hall would’ve surely gone home for the day_. And, since the Beach City¹ Post Office was housed in the Town Hall (along with the Courthouse, the Police Department, and a florist for some reason) and he was one of the two postal workers in Beach City¹, he had a key and full access to the building after hours.

Delectably puckish fantasies ran through his mind all during the rest of that Tuesday’s mail deliveries. Yes, he could already see himself leaning despairingly and yet also seductively against the mayoral office’s doorframe, all “ _Oh, Mr. Mayor_! How could you be _so cruel_ as to cut spending for the Arts?” And also lounging desperately and yet also seductively in an office chair, all “ _Please, Mr. Mayor_! Can’t you see _the very soul_ of the city¹—and along with it my livelihood and dreams—are entirely _in your power_?” And also laying distraughtly and yet also seductively upon that big, executive desk, all “ _I entreat, implore, and supplicate you, Mr. Mayor_! Isn’t there something I can say to convince you to restore or funds? Something I can do to touch _your hard, unbending_ … _heart_?” And also kneeling distressedly and yet also seductively before the Mayor, all, “ _I’m literally on my knees and begging you, Mr. Mayor_! What will it take? I’ll do _anything_!”

It was gonna be soooo great and hot!

But then he had a half-hour long debate with himself about which outfit he ought to wear. Should he stay in his Post Office uniform? Maybe go home and change into something casual, like jeans and a V-neck or a turtleneck? Or maybe something more formal, like khaki slacks with a button-down and tie ensemble? Or should he go hog-wild and all-out theatrical, donning either his brocaded doublet, ruff, tights, and those puffy pantaloons or the bold explorer’s outfit that Steven and Connie had imagined him wearing while in the role of city¹ hero Buddy Buddwick? The uniform had the pros of shorter shorts, which really showed off his mail-deliverin’ legs (and, if he was being honest, his mail-deliverin’ ass), but the cons of not exactly fitting his fantasy persona of Paragon of the Arts™ … If he went casual, a V-neck would bare some smooth chest while a turtleneck would show off his slender and toned upper body, but both be a bit lacking in the gravitas such a fantasy demanded … More formal clothing would look nice _and_ involve a tie that could later be used for … _fun_ ideas he’d seen on the internet (it made him giggle to imagine doing them with Bill), but not exactly project the “desperate begger” vibe this role demanded … The more theatrical options were always fun to wear, of course, but had the distinct disadvantage of looking out of place in a modern setting (for the Shakespearean outfit) and being completely unknown to him because they’d technically only been imagined by two other people without him being in anyway involved (which was a pretty insurmountable, existential disadvantage, he’d have had to admit if he’d at all been aware of it, which he wasn’t anyway) …

“… I wonder if I have any rags I could wear?” Jamie wondered. “Not like _gross_ rags, and not _too raggedly_ ‘cause I still wanna look _nice_ , but still rags? Like, _flashy and fancy_ rags?”

In the end, he decided to keep the uniform’s shorter shorts, the casual option’s V-neck, and slip a tie into his pocket (just in case). Then, after changing into this particular attire at home, he trooped back to the Town Hall and let himself in through the Post Office. Sure enough, upstairs in the mayoral office, he found his boyfriend still at work.

“Oh, Jamie!” Bill Dewey exclaimed in surprised delight. “What’re you doing here? I thought the plan was to meet at your—”

“ _Oh, Mr. Mayor_!” Jamie declaimed, leaning against the office’s doorframe with his head hanging low in despair. He then arched his back on that post, braced one arm against the lintel, and stuck out one leg as high as it would go to brace it against the opposite post. _Seductively_ … although with quite a grunt of effort to get it there. If he was being honest, it was actually rather uncomfortably stretching his hamstring. “Ugh! H-how could you be _so cruel_ as to … to cut spending for the Arts?”

Mayor Dewey blinked in surprise. “… What? But _we_ _didn’t_ cut spending for the Arts.”

“ _Please, Mr. Mayor_!” Jamie practically swooned into an office chair, lounging across it with his head thrown back in desperation. He then arched his back against one armrest, dramatically laid one hand upon his brow, and stuck one leg way up en pointe. _Seductively_ … even though that too took another grunt of effort. If he was being honest, it was causing a cramp on one side of his abs to hold it there. “Gah! C-can’t you see _the very soul_ of the city¹—and along with it ( _fff_!)” He put his leg down before continuing, “My l-livelihood and dreams—are entirely _in your power_?”

“The City¹ Council voted _an increase_ to its annual budget last month. It’s up _about_ _11%_ from last ye—”

Laying upon that big, executive desk (despite the in-box and out-box stacked with paper, several pens, and a desktop computer) with his face composed to express “distraught man”, Jamie intoned, “ _I entreat, implore, and supplicate you, Mr. Mayor_!” He struck the oh so classic “lying temptingly on a beach pose” with his chin in one hand, the other hand on his hip, and lastly his leg bent behind the other (exposing a lot of thigh). _Seductively_ … despite something poking into his side. Probably a pen? Possibly that had broken and was soaking into his shirt?

“Jamie-bamby⁴! _My spreadsheets_! What’s gotten into—”

“Isn’t there s-something I can say to convince you to restore or funds? Something I can do to touch _your hard, unbending_ … _heart_?” He reached out to Bill. Reached _low_ specifically.

“But your department’s funds _haven’t_ —Okay, if you want to discuss funding with me, you _really_ need to send an email to _my official account_ ,” Mayor Dewey tried to explain slowly. “So there are records of it. Us dating is already skirting some ethical issues, and we have to be especially above-the-board. W- _why are you now kneeling in front of me so distressedly_?!”

While gently rubbing and gently prying apart his boyfriend’s knees ( _Seductively_ … albeit with mounting exasperation), Jamie whimpered, “ _I’m literally ON MY KNEES and begging you, Mr. Mayor_! What’ll it take? I’ll do _ANYTHING YOU WANT_ to save Beach City¹’s art program!”

“… W-wait a minute.” Realization began to dawn in Bill Dewey’s eyes.

“ _What_? You’ll _only_ cease to exercise your absolute power over municipal governance—and thus _over me_ through the money for my theatrical aspirations— _if I submit to your lecherous, sensuous appetites_?” Jamie asked in a faux-scandalized tone.

“This is a bit, isn’t it? Like one of your drama performances, _but only_ _for me_ … _for_ _sex_?” Bill Dewey finished in an astonished whisper. But it was an excited whisper, too.

“(Has been the whole time, but thanks for now noticing, Billy.) You want me _to offer up my young, naïf body_ to your whims, no matter _how degrading or perverted_?!” Jamie continued, putting more ham into his gestures than a Chicago deli. “You want me—a helpless and inexperienced dreamer (and poet and actor and playwright and director with killer legs and a fantastic ass)— _to whore myself out_ until I’ve pleased Your Great and Powerful Mayorness?!”

Blushing profusely, Bill Dewey stammered, “O-okay now, Jamie-bamby⁴, let’s maybe dial it back down a little? Like, maybe to _a 5/10_ instead of _this 11/10_.”

“Fine, Mr. Mayor, because _I’ve no choice_ but to give up the arts program _or_ submit fully to you …” Jamie crescendoed. “I’ll let you have your way with _my body_ … BUT you can _never_ have your way with _my heart_! For my heart … _BELONGS TO THE THEATER_!”

“Pfffha! Oh my gosh, you’re making me feel like s-some sorta corrupt, big city kingpin,” Bill couldn’t help but chuckle. Even though he couldn’t deny it was stirring something up from deep inside him. “A m-man who can, um, have _whatever_ he wants ‘cause _he abuses_ his power, and d-doesn’t care who he hurts in the process.”

“(That’s sorta _the point_ of this roleplay, Billy. Now get those pants open so I can suck your dick already.)”

“… o- _okay_!”

“(And start _acting your part_ already! This is _a two-man_ _production_ , and I’ve been carrying the whole show!)”

“… um, St-stop making such a fuss, boy. Slut. _Boyslut_! Put your mouth to better use by pleasing my, er, corrupt politician c- _cock_!” the Mayor ordered as imperiously as a man can while fighting not to giggle.

“ _You fiend_!” Jamie decried. Even as he quite eagerly pulled his boyfriend’s stiff member out of his suitpants.

“Sh-shut up and suck it, _boyslut_! Don’t pretend—er, _We both know_ you’re dying to suck a r- _real_ man’s cock! M- _my cock_! Don’t b-bother pretending otherwise! Um … _Here_!” And Bill grabbed his boyfriend’s head in both hands and pushed it down his shaft.

Which limited Jamie’s dramatic dialogue for a while to nothing but intoxicated grunts along the lines of “♥ _Mmm_ ♥!”

¹Actually a Town, and not technically a City.

²Department of Gem-Related Activities, a supersecret and supersmall branch of the US Government. It’s so secret, in fact, that its existence is known only to Presidents, Vice Presidents, the Mayor of Beach City¹, and practically the entire civilian population of Beach City¹.

³Pronounced Tay-mah-el-mon, as he's of Moroccan descent. Incidentally, he's not only the mailman, but was appointed director of the Beach City¹ Community Theater and Artistic Enrichment Program by Mayor Dewey about a month before they first started dating.

⁴Bill Dewey’s disgustingly cute petname for his boyfriend, pronounced like “baby” with an M in it, and not like history’s most famous and idiotic mule deer.


End file.
